I have a love-hate relationship with my car. I barely love it, and it hates me. Okay, just kidding. Sorta. I've had my car for the last 7 of its 10 years. I swear, it's like my car is my child, only you usually don't threaten to drive your child into the river or leave it on the train tracks for an oncoming train when it misbehaves. But honestly, many of the best and worst things in my life revolve around my car.
For the tangible issues, my car is a necessity. I would have terrible issues trying to get to work and run errands w/o it. While there is public transportation and pedestrianism, I live too far away from anything to walk and unless you live in a city that's at its heart a public transportation city, usually many of the other people are sketchy. Not to mention that driving in my car is the only place where I can listen to my music as loud as it deserves to be played w/o pissing off people who can yell at me.
On the down side, though, cars are expensive, and as they get older they bleed your wallet dry. And as I am a recent graduate, I don't have the financial setting to buy a new one yet. Oh, but I want to! I try to make my car jealous (to make it act nicer) by saying out loud as I am driving how much I love the Priuses I see driving around. I am currently torn b/t the light blue one and the black cherry one. Lately my car has been getting on my nerves. It had the audacity, on the day I bought it new tired no less, to have the ignition switch fail. And then just yesterday I was out shopping and it decides that the trunk shouldn't close. >_< Not to mention that it likes to make the turn signal clicking noise when the turn signal isn't turned on. But to be fair, I like that better than when the turn signal didn't work at all randomly. The bumps, scraps, stains and scratches don't bother me, but I'd like my car to work, thank you. It has to last until I have some money to get a Prius. :^)
But my love-hate relationship w/ my car surpasses the tangible issues above. There is a more metaphorical tension. I took this class in college about California and how most of the state has this car culture. It's literally sunk into my subconscious that I need a car.
So, the tug comes from this. You could call me a tree-hugger. I love the environment and would overall all of existence to better care for our planet. So, it makes me feel bad that I actually like driving and having a car, b/c the thing is toxic. x_x One day I'd like to live somewhere where I wouldn't need a car, or at least would have one that I didn't use everyday. Yet, a part of me would miss my car. It'd be this part:
More than just being a hunk of parts, my care is a metaphor to me for freedom. I feel that as long as I have my car, I can go anywhere I want. I have no restrictions if I need to get somewhere, anywhere at anytime. And I like knowing that if I ever just need to get away, even if just for a little while, I can always run away in my car. Plus, it's the place I feel most comfortable singing w/o worry of others hearing, and it's the place I feel most just free from other people, in a metaphorical personal space sense. I even find I am very partial to songs about cars. I love the song "Brink of Disaster" by Mae b/c it's all about feeling out of control in your life, but w/ a car metaphor, which I totally relate to. And I recently discovered the song "Car Radio" by Twenty One Pilots. It's all about this guy whose car radio is stolen and is now just left w/ the quiet of his thoughts, which can be maddening. I totally know how that feels. I often find myself lost in thought in my car, and I just turn the radio up to drown out my thoughts.
In the end, all I can do is keep driving, keep fixing my car, and enjoy the drive. This is unless, of course, I get my own private island where I have no need for cars, or anything not relaxing and beachy. And if it's far enough away and deserted, I can blast my music as loud as I want.
No comments:
Post a Comment