I promise this is way less creepy than it sounds. ;^)
I have this pet peeve. (Well, okay, I have many pet peeves, but let's talk about this one now). It's where someone decides to use a song for something in a way that lets me know this person in no way understands what the song is really about. Many times it's not just that the song is irrelevant to the matter, but more likely that the song is just so very, very wrong in a situation. Still, although this is a pet peeve of mine, I also like to collect examples because they can often be funny, or at least head shakers.
Remember the time whenever there was some serious hospital scene or someone was injured and the paramedics were helping, and the song "How to Save a Life" by the Fray played every time, without fail? It still pops up from time to time. Only it really irks me when it's used in this context. This song has absolutely nothing to do with literally saving a life. No one is giving CPR in the song or performing life saving surgery, or whatever. If you listen to the lyrics (OMG, who'd think of doing that? NO!!), it's actually a metaphorical life. The song's all about a relationship that's fallen apart, and it's time to either work it out and become more serious, or break up. Really, if you think about it, it's kind of insensitive to play a moody make-up or break-up song while someone is coding on the ER table.
This example is a little closer to home for me. I used to work retail. At one time the company was using different musical artists to help advertise the store and its brands. I remember once in the break room there was a TV showing a fashion show of the new clothing with some of the music playing in the background. And one of the bands used was the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. You may, but probably don't, remember them. This was a few years ago. Anyway, the fashion show had the band's popular song "Face Down" playing in the background as a number of young girls are going down the runway. Now, for the record, this a great song. And I've seen RJA at warped tour and I really like them. However, I find this song inappropriate. Sure, it's rockin' and peppy. But did anyone happen to listen to the lyrics? If so, they might have noticed this song is about a girl finally saying enough to being beaten by her boyfriend. Really? REALLY?? It really is not the right song to play as young girls are parading down a runway. *shakes head disapprovingly*
Let's talk about weddings!!! A lot of planning goes into weddings, and the songs you chose to dance to on your big day are very important. They will be the soundtrack to your big day forever. So do me a favor, and actually know what a song is about BEFORE you use it for your wedding. For example:
I remember once watching a show on VH1 about the meaning of certain songs. One of the songs featured was "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. I've listened to that song. It's a total stalker song. And guess what, Sting even said, on TV, that it's a stalker song!! He wrote it from the perspective of him stalking his ex-wife. He then said how people would tell him they danced to the song at their wedding, and how he'd wish them good luck with that. Wanna know why? Because it's a stalker song!! Don't play a stalker song at your wedding!!! Well, unless it's an accurate expression of one of the spouse's feelings. But then I'd have to say you've got some problems heading your way. Good luck with that.
The first dance between the bride and groom isn't the only big dance at a wedding. The other is the father/daughter dance between the bride and her daddy. Do me a favor? Don't, I mean please just don't, use the song "Daughters" by John Mayer for this dance. You might be asking yourself, "But why, Dayna? That's such a sweet song with such a sweet chorus." To which I answer: sure, the chorus is sweet, and yes I do agree that fathers (and mothers) should be good to their daughter. Ahh, sweet. But, ummm, did you even bother to listen to the verses? If you don't get the gist, he's basically telling fathers to be good to their daughter because if the fathers screw up as dads, then the daughters will be screwed up when it comes to relationships. He's telling you he loves this girl who is emotionally walled off because her father left her. Ahh, sweet. Not. Is this really the message you want to dance to at your wedding? Maybe, if you have that kind of bad relationship with your father but still care enough to even invite him to your wedding. But do you really want to advertise this kind of drama to all your guests (and any future wedding video viewers)? I don't think so. Oh, and I was pointing this out to my mom one day, who said she actually went to a wedding where this was the father/daughter dance song. *facepalm*
So, basically this is a lesson in people not paying 100% attention to a song. You don't even have to listen; the Internet probably has the song lyrics you need.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Office Etiquette
So, I work in a cubicle. And there are other cubicles, of course, in the office. I can hear whatever it is the other people are doing: typing, talking, tapping their fingers. And of course, I can hear whenever someone sneezes.
Given that it is allergy season, it seems that every time you blink, someone is sneezing. I am of course exaggerating, but not by much. At first, I was saying "bless you" every time someone sneezed. Other people were also saying it too. Then I noticed that as time went by, the "bless yous" were less. It was like only the first person had to say it, and it was kind of like bless you chicken to see if you say it, or someone else does.
But I did notice that some people didn't say "bless you" when other people sneezed. So, I started to only say "bless you" to people that said it back. But after awhile all the "bless yous" ceased. Now occasionally there is a "bless you," but much less often than there are sneezes. And every time someone sneezes in the office I feel this weird awkwardness, do I say it, do I not. And when someone randomly says "bless you" to me, I feel weird, like I should have said it last time, but ignored it.
That got me wondering. What is the proper etiquette for saying "bless you" in the office (especially given that it's allergy season and it's sneeze-a-palooza everyday)? I know that it's polite to say "bless you" to sneezes, but honestly I just don't have the time or the care to do it every time. I think that someone needs to come up with a count, or something. You only have to say it so many times a day, or once a day to each person. Or we could all just agree to not say it, unless by habit.
Given that it is allergy season, it seems that every time you blink, someone is sneezing. I am of course exaggerating, but not by much. At first, I was saying "bless you" every time someone sneezed. Other people were also saying it too. Then I noticed that as time went by, the "bless yous" were less. It was like only the first person had to say it, and it was kind of like bless you chicken to see if you say it, or someone else does.
But I did notice that some people didn't say "bless you" when other people sneezed. So, I started to only say "bless you" to people that said it back. But after awhile all the "bless yous" ceased. Now occasionally there is a "bless you," but much less often than there are sneezes. And every time someone sneezes in the office I feel this weird awkwardness, do I say it, do I not. And when someone randomly says "bless you" to me, I feel weird, like I should have said it last time, but ignored it.
That got me wondering. What is the proper etiquette for saying "bless you" in the office (especially given that it's allergy season and it's sneeze-a-palooza everyday)? I know that it's polite to say "bless you" to sneezes, but honestly I just don't have the time or the care to do it every time. I think that someone needs to come up with a count, or something. You only have to say it so many times a day, or once a day to each person. Or we could all just agree to not say it, unless by habit.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Character Building at It's Finest
So, I have been thinking a lot about me lately, and what makes me tick, and basically how I spend my entire life trying not to embarrass myself to even the slightest degree. That led me to thinking about my most embarrassing moments. You know, those moments that are so epically embarrassing, as compared to the rest of your life, that they really stand out. From these I realized that these moments build character. If you life through them, you can then wear them proudly on your soul as badges of honor. AND, if you've got the guts to share them, I think it shows strength of character, plus you could end up with some great stories.
That is why, for your reading pleasure (assuming anyone is reading, of course) I've decided to share my most embarrassing moments. They include some great stuff like: public humiliation, female troubles, cops and nudity. I think just the act of writing them down, even if no one reads this, shows my great strength of character. Or, that's at least what I am telling myself.
1. Public Performing Isn't For Everyone
I thought I'd share the most recent first, since the pain is more recent, and it'd be nice to get off my chest. So, two things you should know about me. (1) I love to sing. A lot. I sing in the car, the kitchen, around my apartment, basically anywhere I can be alone and belt, while I pretend no one is around. (2) I have anxiety. A lot. I may have tried to self-diagnose myself using the Internet. Did you know there is a separate anxiety disorder where you get anxious, and therefore avoid, activities that have made you anxious in the past. My thought was, umm, isn't that just nature, since I really don't want to do that again, but I guess it's a disorder too. Who knew?
So, you can see why I generally avoid singing in front of other people. I like to do it, but I also get anxious, so the last thing I want to do is suck, and have people tell me I suck, and then never sing again to avoid the anxiety. Man, that blows. And I am not going to self-assess my abilities, because as a scientist, I prefer objective, 3rd-party feedback to support my opinions of my abilities, or lack thereof. I didn't go around telling everyone how smart I am without lots of good grades, so I won't do it with other things.
But I did want some feedback, and thought, hey, our school has a talent competition, why don't I sign up and sing in front of a bunch of people? And not just people, but people I know. Let me tell you, despite all the practice and the positive rehearsal I had with my closet friends, it sucked sooooooo bad. I have this problem where if I get too anxious, my body literally does things I cannot control. I have trouble breathing, my voice chokes up, I shake uncontrollably. And of course this had to happen in front of a lot of people I know.
I remember the moments vividly. In fact, just thinking about it now, two years later, I still feel my chest tightening. I started out, and could hear that it was really bad. I could literally feel the audience getting really uncomfortable. You know, when someone is sucking, and you feel bad for them, and don't know what to do, so you just feel really uncomfortable and antsy? Well, that was totally happening. So, a thought ran through my head. I could either make my way painfully through this performance at the same rate I was going, or I could at least break up the tension. So I did. I told the audience that I was really sucking. And I made it funny. It still sucked, but by the end people had laughed, and I even was able to pull it together somewhat. Luckily the judges were good sports, and I even got some Facebook attention from someone I was into at the time.
I learned from this moment. So, even though it sucked sooooooo very badly, I still can't sing that song w/o getting choked up, and it still makes me embarrassed to mention, at least I learned that in a pinch, even when I'm feeling my worst, I can pull myself out of it and turn a bad situation around. And I am suddenly realizing I need to apply this lesson to my current employment search. :^)
2. Mother Nature's Got a Bitch of a Timing
I find this story not so embarrassing now, given it's been awhile, but at the time it was horrible, and there are some funny moments, so it has to be included. At first I thought about not including it. There seems to be this thing in our culture about not talking about our lady times where men might hear/see it. But then I was all, screw that. Men need to not be so sensitive.
When I was a junior in high school, I was on the speech and debate team, and we were away at a weekend long debate tournament. And mother nature being the bitch that she is, it also happened to be my time of the month. During one of my breaks I sat down, and as I got up again, I noticed that I had left a mess behind. Being 16, I immediately freaked out and ran to the bathroom, where a classmate of mine found me. She quickly fetch someone's mother (thank goodness at least one of our chaperons was someone mother!), and she was able to head over to our hotel to get me another skirt. Side note, this is why I no longer where light grey one week out of the month. >_<
Unfortunately, the hotel was a distance away, and evidently my sprint to the restroom was notice by my coach. Now, my debate coach was a great guy, but also could have the same maturity level of the teenagers he taught. He asked me what was wrong. So, I promptly turned around to show my predicament. And he proceeded to burst into laughter. Fyi, women do not appreciate being laughed at when they are having this kind of issue!! Especially when they are a fragile 16 year old!! Then, one of my male classmates, completely serious, ask "Did you sit in ketchup." *face palm* All this, and I still had a debate round to go to without a change of clothes. On the plus side, a friend of mine lent me her school sweatshirt to tie around my waste to cover the back of my skirt. On the down side, out school colors are black and orange. I can only imagine what the judges were thinking as I gave my speeches wearing a bright, neon orange sweater around my waist.
Needless to say, I embrace being a woman, and I no longer get embarrassed if I have issues. And I really couldn't care less if some man sees my lady supplies in my purse. I mean, it's not like it'd be any more embarrassing than what I've already been through, am I right ladies?
3. At Least I Know the Police Response is Effective
Ok, so this is my absolute most embarrassing story. That's why it's saved for last. I must admit that I am super proud of this story, and I LOVE to tell it. Mostly, because it's hilarious, especially if I think about all the little pieces and situations that had to line up to make this even happen. I promise, this is 100% true.
It all happened because one of my favorite bands was coming to town, and I wanted tickets. Our local radio station was doing a promotion where if they played two songs in a row by the band, the 20th caller received two free backstage passes to the show. I was determined to win them so I could take my best friend.
On Saturday, I was home alone. I woke up early so that I could spend the entire day listening to the radio in hopes of calling in to win the tickets. I also had to do laundry and take a shower. I figured that since it was pretty early (around 7 or 8 am), they wouldn't be giving away tickets yet, at least not on the weekend. But, just in case, I turned the radio on loud outside the bathroom so I could hear if they played the songs. Well, they played one song by the band. I thought that maybe they'd just play one, given it was early, but again just in case I rinsed off so that I could be ready to sprint to the phone if necessary.
And wouldn't you believe it, they played two songs in a row. I had to sprint down the hall to the phone as fast as I could, not minding at all that I was completely naked. Now, being the early '00's, this was back when you still used your telephone line for the Internet. We had two phone lines in my house, one of which was used for the Internet, but had a phone hooked up too just because we could. Well, I figured, twice the phones, twice the chance to win. So, I was dialling the radio station using both phones, one in each hand.
At some point I must have missed dialed because when I put the phone to my ear I heard, "911, what's your emergency." I quickly hung up in a panic. I remember my mom had recently told me a story where her co-worker pocket dialed 911 on her cell phone and got yelled at. That's why when the phone rang back and the caller ID said 911, I ignored it. I didn't want to get yelled at by the operator.
Right after that the other line rang. It was my best friend, who had been listening to the radio and called to see if I made it through. I chatted with her on the phone as I put laundry in the dryer. Now, if you are following along still, you should realize that I am at this point still completely naked. So, I tell my friend that, no, I didn't get through. I also mention how as I was dialing I accidentally dialed 911, but didn't talk to them at all. That's when she says, "You know they come to your house right?" and proceeds to tell me that if you hang up on a 911 call, they send a police officer to you house.
Sure enough, right after I hand up the phone, my doorbell rings. I look through the peephole and there is a police officer standing at my door. I of course book it to my room, and have to throw on the first thing I find on the floor. Then, I have to go answer the door and talk to the cop, wearing lord knows what (and of course no under garments). I explain to the officer what had happened, how I had missed dialed. However, he was still required to search my house, just in case no one was being held hostage or whatever. So, I had to follow the officer around my house, so embarrassed about what just happened (and how I narrowly avoid being naked in front of a cop), while he walked around, checking his flashlight behind furniture and things. (Now that I think about it, good thing my family isn't the criminal type, and this could make a great fact pattern for some 4th amendment, search and seizure hypos).
Ok, I totally didn't learn anything from this, except maybe don't wander around the house naked, or use one phone at a time, or whatever. I just know this story is awesome. :^)
That is why, for your reading pleasure (assuming anyone is reading, of course) I've decided to share my most embarrassing moments. They include some great stuff like: public humiliation, female troubles, cops and nudity. I think just the act of writing them down, even if no one reads this, shows my great strength of character. Or, that's at least what I am telling myself.
1. Public Performing Isn't For Everyone
I thought I'd share the most recent first, since the pain is more recent, and it'd be nice to get off my chest. So, two things you should know about me. (1) I love to sing. A lot. I sing in the car, the kitchen, around my apartment, basically anywhere I can be alone and belt, while I pretend no one is around. (2) I have anxiety. A lot. I may have tried to self-diagnose myself using the Internet. Did you know there is a separate anxiety disorder where you get anxious, and therefore avoid, activities that have made you anxious in the past. My thought was, umm, isn't that just nature, since I really don't want to do that again, but I guess it's a disorder too. Who knew?
So, you can see why I generally avoid singing in front of other people. I like to do it, but I also get anxious, so the last thing I want to do is suck, and have people tell me I suck, and then never sing again to avoid the anxiety. Man, that blows. And I am not going to self-assess my abilities, because as a scientist, I prefer objective, 3rd-party feedback to support my opinions of my abilities, or lack thereof. I didn't go around telling everyone how smart I am without lots of good grades, so I won't do it with other things.
But I did want some feedback, and thought, hey, our school has a talent competition, why don't I sign up and sing in front of a bunch of people? And not just people, but people I know. Let me tell you, despite all the practice and the positive rehearsal I had with my closet friends, it sucked sooooooo bad. I have this problem where if I get too anxious, my body literally does things I cannot control. I have trouble breathing, my voice chokes up, I shake uncontrollably. And of course this had to happen in front of a lot of people I know.
I remember the moments vividly. In fact, just thinking about it now, two years later, I still feel my chest tightening. I started out, and could hear that it was really bad. I could literally feel the audience getting really uncomfortable. You know, when someone is sucking, and you feel bad for them, and don't know what to do, so you just feel really uncomfortable and antsy? Well, that was totally happening. So, a thought ran through my head. I could either make my way painfully through this performance at the same rate I was going, or I could at least break up the tension. So I did. I told the audience that I was really sucking. And I made it funny. It still sucked, but by the end people had laughed, and I even was able to pull it together somewhat. Luckily the judges were good sports, and I even got some Facebook attention from someone I was into at the time.
I learned from this moment. So, even though it sucked sooooooo very badly, I still can't sing that song w/o getting choked up, and it still makes me embarrassed to mention, at least I learned that in a pinch, even when I'm feeling my worst, I can pull myself out of it and turn a bad situation around. And I am suddenly realizing I need to apply this lesson to my current employment search. :^)
2. Mother Nature's Got a Bitch of a Timing
I find this story not so embarrassing now, given it's been awhile, but at the time it was horrible, and there are some funny moments, so it has to be included. At first I thought about not including it. There seems to be this thing in our culture about not talking about our lady times where men might hear/see it. But then I was all, screw that. Men need to not be so sensitive.
When I was a junior in high school, I was on the speech and debate team, and we were away at a weekend long debate tournament. And mother nature being the bitch that she is, it also happened to be my time of the month. During one of my breaks I sat down, and as I got up again, I noticed that I had left a mess behind. Being 16, I immediately freaked out and ran to the bathroom, where a classmate of mine found me. She quickly fetch someone's mother (thank goodness at least one of our chaperons was someone mother!), and she was able to head over to our hotel to get me another skirt. Side note, this is why I no longer where light grey one week out of the month. >_<
Unfortunately, the hotel was a distance away, and evidently my sprint to the restroom was notice by my coach. Now, my debate coach was a great guy, but also could have the same maturity level of the teenagers he taught. He asked me what was wrong. So, I promptly turned around to show my predicament. And he proceeded to burst into laughter. Fyi, women do not appreciate being laughed at when they are having this kind of issue!! Especially when they are a fragile 16 year old!! Then, one of my male classmates, completely serious, ask "Did you sit in ketchup." *face palm* All this, and I still had a debate round to go to without a change of clothes. On the plus side, a friend of mine lent me her school sweatshirt to tie around my waste to cover the back of my skirt. On the down side, out school colors are black and orange. I can only imagine what the judges were thinking as I gave my speeches wearing a bright, neon orange sweater around my waist.
Needless to say, I embrace being a woman, and I no longer get embarrassed if I have issues. And I really couldn't care less if some man sees my lady supplies in my purse. I mean, it's not like it'd be any more embarrassing than what I've already been through, am I right ladies?
3. At Least I Know the Police Response is Effective
Ok, so this is my absolute most embarrassing story. That's why it's saved for last. I must admit that I am super proud of this story, and I LOVE to tell it. Mostly, because it's hilarious, especially if I think about all the little pieces and situations that had to line up to make this even happen. I promise, this is 100% true.
It all happened because one of my favorite bands was coming to town, and I wanted tickets. Our local radio station was doing a promotion where if they played two songs in a row by the band, the 20th caller received two free backstage passes to the show. I was determined to win them so I could take my best friend.
On Saturday, I was home alone. I woke up early so that I could spend the entire day listening to the radio in hopes of calling in to win the tickets. I also had to do laundry and take a shower. I figured that since it was pretty early (around 7 or 8 am), they wouldn't be giving away tickets yet, at least not on the weekend. But, just in case, I turned the radio on loud outside the bathroom so I could hear if they played the songs. Well, they played one song by the band. I thought that maybe they'd just play one, given it was early, but again just in case I rinsed off so that I could be ready to sprint to the phone if necessary.
And wouldn't you believe it, they played two songs in a row. I had to sprint down the hall to the phone as fast as I could, not minding at all that I was completely naked. Now, being the early '00's, this was back when you still used your telephone line for the Internet. We had two phone lines in my house, one of which was used for the Internet, but had a phone hooked up too just because we could. Well, I figured, twice the phones, twice the chance to win. So, I was dialling the radio station using both phones, one in each hand.
At some point I must have missed dialed because when I put the phone to my ear I heard, "911, what's your emergency." I quickly hung up in a panic. I remember my mom had recently told me a story where her co-worker pocket dialed 911 on her cell phone and got yelled at. That's why when the phone rang back and the caller ID said 911, I ignored it. I didn't want to get yelled at by the operator.
Right after that the other line rang. It was my best friend, who had been listening to the radio and called to see if I made it through. I chatted with her on the phone as I put laundry in the dryer. Now, if you are following along still, you should realize that I am at this point still completely naked. So, I tell my friend that, no, I didn't get through. I also mention how as I was dialing I accidentally dialed 911, but didn't talk to them at all. That's when she says, "You know they come to your house right?" and proceeds to tell me that if you hang up on a 911 call, they send a police officer to you house.
Sure enough, right after I hand up the phone, my doorbell rings. I look through the peephole and there is a police officer standing at my door. I of course book it to my room, and have to throw on the first thing I find on the floor. Then, I have to go answer the door and talk to the cop, wearing lord knows what (and of course no under garments). I explain to the officer what had happened, how I had missed dialed. However, he was still required to search my house, just in case no one was being held hostage or whatever. So, I had to follow the officer around my house, so embarrassed about what just happened (and how I narrowly avoid being naked in front of a cop), while he walked around, checking his flashlight behind furniture and things. (Now that I think about it, good thing my family isn't the criminal type, and this could make a great fact pattern for some 4th amendment, search and seizure hypos).
Ok, I totally didn't learn anything from this, except maybe don't wander around the house naked, or use one phone at a time, or whatever. I just know this story is awesome. :^)
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
C'mon Guys, Give Poor Niccolo a Break, He's a Prince of a Guy
So, I just finished reading The Prince by Machiavelli, and I must admit, I was, well, underwhelmed. I mean, given the reputation of The Prince, and the reaction I get from people when I told them what I was reading, I guess I just expected something more, idk, brutal. I expected him to advocate ravishing villages, and putting people's heads on stakes in public places, and other crazy extremely violent things. What I found instead was something academic, and interesting, especially from a historical point of view.
Some background, I think, would be important. Machiavelli wrote the Prince in 1513. If, like me, you watch The Tudors, you'd have a vague idea of history of Europe then. France, Spain, and England were empires by then, with their countries controlled by a King (or whatever). I did not know that during this time, Italy wasn't was unified country, but rather a bunch of smaller states, with varying rulers and governments. Armies from France and Spain fought against these states to add more land to their empires.
Machiavelli was from Florence, and was rather important when Florence had a republic. And despite his reputation for his work, he actually preferred a republican form of government. But unfortunately, Florence was recaptured by its former ruling family, and Machiavelli was basically put under house arrest. That's where he wrote The Prince (and other works), as something to do to avoid utter boredom, and to hopefully gain favour so as to not be under house arrest anymore. (Although, I wouldn't mind it so much if I had a fancy Italian villa, but then I'm used to my normal sized, American housing).
The Prince really is just Niccolo's use of inductive reasoning, trying to get some advise for ruling princes from the exploit of ancient and contemporary rulers (well, contemporary for 1513). Machiavelli loved him some Livy, and he loved him some Cesar Borgia.
Supposedly, I've heard that some modern leaders have used Machiavelli's advice, I am not sure how useful all of it would be today. A great deal of this work deals with gaining and keeping conquered lands, and discussing different ways rulers of the past have gained and lost such places. But seeing as these days developed worlds don't take over other lands (only "liberating" other countries), it's not really helpful to discuss mercenary armies versus your own armies.
However, I find the discussion of how princes should be toward their people, and what traits they should (appear) to have very interesting, and I could see where some politicians would consider taking the advice (although I'd advise against it). Although, I don't know if now it's better to be either loved or feared. Since leaders now are elected, and can change by the people's action, and without violent death of the ruler, perhaps other traits are more important. Personally, I don't care whether I love or fear a leader, so long as s/he is intelligent to face hard leadership decisions and acts fairly. I guess I am just lucky enough to live in a country based on rule of law, and not rule of Prince.
What I do find very relevant, particularly since I too have been contemplating government too, is his commentary of sort about the citizens. Many scholars have stated that Machiavelli supports "the ends justify the means" mentality where he states that in the actions of men, people will look to the outcome. Well, people are just trying to give him a bad rep, maybe because mostly he's saying bad things about people in general. Basically, his point is that people don't get to see the motivation behind the prince's actions; they aren't going to haul him into court and present evidence of what he meant so that some judge can rule whether the prince had good intentions. Rather, people are selfish and present minded; they only care about what they've gained and lost, now. They aren't going to care if the prince had good intentions if they lose stuff and are worse off now. Good intentions don't bring back land and belongings. And, they aren't going to delve into the prince's actions when in the end the people are benefited. They don't have the time, nor honestly the care to decide whether the prince was good when he helped them. Really, this is less telling a leader to do what they want as long is it turns out fine, and more commenting on the baseness of citizens.
Honestly, I think princes in Machiavelli's day were lucky. These days, it almost seems like the ends even aren't good enough for the people. During The Prince times, the citizens couldn't scrutinize the rulers until after something happened. Now, it's almost the reversal, with people only caring about ends, only worse. With modern technology, people are all the time scrutinizing leaders exactly on their means. A leader can take action on something, and get a good outcome, but can soon take lots of grief from it because people now have live, internet access to way too much information about the means to leader's ends. Granted, that in itself isn't a problem, since it can keep a leader honest. However, citizens today can be just as mindless about governmental affairs as in Machiavelli's day. Only now, people love or hate a leader not based on the ends the leader gets, but often based well before the leader does anything. Now, people will find a reason to praise or condemn a leader based only on how the leader aligns with a person's political view points (regardless of an objective analysis of means and ends).
But I digress. I kind of related to Machiavelli as I was reading this. He was a strong supporter of Republican government (that differs from a GOP type republican, in case you didn't know). However, The Prince advocates a strong single ruler. He recognized that his ideals for government doesn't necessarily match what might be best for his country (best being a flexible, and subjective word). It may suck to have a utilitarian prince, but with France, Spain, and the Papacy coming in and trying to take over different states, maybe Italy needed a prince to unite it into one country. Idk, but it worked in France, England and Spain (well, from a 1513 point of view, I guess). I definitely have my own ideals about what a government should be, but I often feel frustrated about the lack of knowledge people have even about the history of our country. Sometimes I even wonder if maybe people deserve a harsher form of government as a "those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it" sort of message. But mostly, I just come up with great ideas for sci-fi or distopic stories.
I find Machiavelli's advice about counsel very good advice. He advises that princes need people who are willing to be honest with advice (not flatterers) but that a prince cannot welcome advice whenever. Rather, a prince needs to let people know he wants advice only when asked, but must make sure to ask a lot of questions. Then, he must take the time to wisely think the advice over, alone, and then be firm when enacting what he's decided. But it's important that a prince is wise, so as to know what to do with good counsel. If the prince were dumb, he'd be open to being lead by the advice of one person, and that person would be able to control the prince. Or the dumb prince would get counsel from many and it'd be counsel overload, and the prince wouldn't be able to evaluate it. I think this is great advice for modern leaders. First, a modern leader needs to be wise/intelligent/whatever enough to be able to take advice from all over and then evaluate it to use in making good decisions. That way, we don't get a puppet ruler, controlled by others because he's too dumb to understand things himself. I particularly like the part where the leader needs to contemplate the advice on their own, and then stand strong behind their decision.
Okay, I get it, this post is super long, and full of maybe too deep, maybe too boring stuff, but I can't help it. I read these things, and since I think about these things, they are going on my blog. :P But if you read this fall, I will end this discussion with some fun sexism. >_<
So, Machiavelli is discussing Fortune and men's actions, i.e. should men even take advice because Fortune can be a bitch and make people fail no matter how good their advice. He discusses men being either impetuous (fyi, acting quickly w/o thought or care) or cautious, and men don't change and will only succeed with one or the other depending on what Fortune prefers at the time. Then, he drops this gem. "I certainly think this: that it is better to be impetuous than cautious, for Fortune is a woman, and it is necessary, if you wish to keep her down, to beat her and knock her about. And one sees that she lets herself be conquered by men of this sort more than by those who proceed coldly. And therefore, like a woman, she is always the friend of the young, because they are less cautious, fiercer, and command her with more audacity."
Of course, I'm going along, and once I read this I'm all "Wtf?!?!?!?!" I'm super offended, and for the record, I much prefer cautiousness. And another thing, women, just like Fortune, don't need to be conquered. Boo!! That's some other thinking that is outdated and useless, thank you very much!
Some background, I think, would be important. Machiavelli wrote the Prince in 1513. If, like me, you watch The Tudors, you'd have a vague idea of history of Europe then. France, Spain, and England were empires by then, with their countries controlled by a King (or whatever). I did not know that during this time, Italy wasn't was unified country, but rather a bunch of smaller states, with varying rulers and governments. Armies from France and Spain fought against these states to add more land to their empires.
Machiavelli was from Florence, and was rather important when Florence had a republic. And despite his reputation for his work, he actually preferred a republican form of government. But unfortunately, Florence was recaptured by its former ruling family, and Machiavelli was basically put under house arrest. That's where he wrote The Prince (and other works), as something to do to avoid utter boredom, and to hopefully gain favour so as to not be under house arrest anymore. (Although, I wouldn't mind it so much if I had a fancy Italian villa, but then I'm used to my normal sized, American housing).
The Prince really is just Niccolo's use of inductive reasoning, trying to get some advise for ruling princes from the exploit of ancient and contemporary rulers (well, contemporary for 1513). Machiavelli loved him some Livy, and he loved him some Cesar Borgia.
Supposedly, I've heard that some modern leaders have used Machiavelli's advice, I am not sure how useful all of it would be today. A great deal of this work deals with gaining and keeping conquered lands, and discussing different ways rulers of the past have gained and lost such places. But seeing as these days developed worlds don't take over other lands (only "liberating" other countries), it's not really helpful to discuss mercenary armies versus your own armies.
However, I find the discussion of how princes should be toward their people, and what traits they should (appear) to have very interesting, and I could see where some politicians would consider taking the advice (although I'd advise against it). Although, I don't know if now it's better to be either loved or feared. Since leaders now are elected, and can change by the people's action, and without violent death of the ruler, perhaps other traits are more important. Personally, I don't care whether I love or fear a leader, so long as s/he is intelligent to face hard leadership decisions and acts fairly. I guess I am just lucky enough to live in a country based on rule of law, and not rule of Prince.
What I do find very relevant, particularly since I too have been contemplating government too, is his commentary of sort about the citizens. Many scholars have stated that Machiavelli supports "the ends justify the means" mentality where he states that in the actions of men, people will look to the outcome. Well, people are just trying to give him a bad rep, maybe because mostly he's saying bad things about people in general. Basically, his point is that people don't get to see the motivation behind the prince's actions; they aren't going to haul him into court and present evidence of what he meant so that some judge can rule whether the prince had good intentions. Rather, people are selfish and present minded; they only care about what they've gained and lost, now. They aren't going to care if the prince had good intentions if they lose stuff and are worse off now. Good intentions don't bring back land and belongings. And, they aren't going to delve into the prince's actions when in the end the people are benefited. They don't have the time, nor honestly the care to decide whether the prince was good when he helped them. Really, this is less telling a leader to do what they want as long is it turns out fine, and more commenting on the baseness of citizens.
Honestly, I think princes in Machiavelli's day were lucky. These days, it almost seems like the ends even aren't good enough for the people. During The Prince times, the citizens couldn't scrutinize the rulers until after something happened. Now, it's almost the reversal, with people only caring about ends, only worse. With modern technology, people are all the time scrutinizing leaders exactly on their means. A leader can take action on something, and get a good outcome, but can soon take lots of grief from it because people now have live, internet access to way too much information about the means to leader's ends. Granted, that in itself isn't a problem, since it can keep a leader honest. However, citizens today can be just as mindless about governmental affairs as in Machiavelli's day. Only now, people love or hate a leader not based on the ends the leader gets, but often based well before the leader does anything. Now, people will find a reason to praise or condemn a leader based only on how the leader aligns with a person's political view points (regardless of an objective analysis of means and ends).
But I digress. I kind of related to Machiavelli as I was reading this. He was a strong supporter of Republican government (that differs from a GOP type republican, in case you didn't know). However, The Prince advocates a strong single ruler. He recognized that his ideals for government doesn't necessarily match what might be best for his country (best being a flexible, and subjective word). It may suck to have a utilitarian prince, but with France, Spain, and the Papacy coming in and trying to take over different states, maybe Italy needed a prince to unite it into one country. Idk, but it worked in France, England and Spain (well, from a 1513 point of view, I guess). I definitely have my own ideals about what a government should be, but I often feel frustrated about the lack of knowledge people have even about the history of our country. Sometimes I even wonder if maybe people deserve a harsher form of government as a "those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it" sort of message. But mostly, I just come up with great ideas for sci-fi or distopic stories.
I find Machiavelli's advice about counsel very good advice. He advises that princes need people who are willing to be honest with advice (not flatterers) but that a prince cannot welcome advice whenever. Rather, a prince needs to let people know he wants advice only when asked, but must make sure to ask a lot of questions. Then, he must take the time to wisely think the advice over, alone, and then be firm when enacting what he's decided. But it's important that a prince is wise, so as to know what to do with good counsel. If the prince were dumb, he'd be open to being lead by the advice of one person, and that person would be able to control the prince. Or the dumb prince would get counsel from many and it'd be counsel overload, and the prince wouldn't be able to evaluate it. I think this is great advice for modern leaders. First, a modern leader needs to be wise/intelligent/whatever enough to be able to take advice from all over and then evaluate it to use in making good decisions. That way, we don't get a puppet ruler, controlled by others because he's too dumb to understand things himself. I particularly like the part where the leader needs to contemplate the advice on their own, and then stand strong behind their decision.
Okay, I get it, this post is super long, and full of maybe too deep, maybe too boring stuff, but I can't help it. I read these things, and since I think about these things, they are going on my blog. :P But if you read this fall, I will end this discussion with some fun sexism. >_<
So, Machiavelli is discussing Fortune and men's actions, i.e. should men even take advice because Fortune can be a bitch and make people fail no matter how good their advice. He discusses men being either impetuous (fyi, acting quickly w/o thought or care) or cautious, and men don't change and will only succeed with one or the other depending on what Fortune prefers at the time. Then, he drops this gem. "I certainly think this: that it is better to be impetuous than cautious, for Fortune is a woman, and it is necessary, if you wish to keep her down, to beat her and knock her about. And one sees that she lets herself be conquered by men of this sort more than by those who proceed coldly. And therefore, like a woman, she is always the friend of the young, because they are less cautious, fiercer, and command her with more audacity."
Of course, I'm going along, and once I read this I'm all "Wtf?!?!?!?!" I'm super offended, and for the record, I much prefer cautiousness. And another thing, women, just like Fortune, don't need to be conquered. Boo!! That's some other thinking that is outdated and useless, thank you very much!
Friday, May 10, 2013
British Hot
So, I watch a lot of British movies and TV. And I mean a lot. This had led me to distinguish between guys that are hot and those that are British hot. Trust me, there's a difference.
I am not sure what the cause is of this phenomenon, but I am sure that there are other kinds of hot, like geek hot or funny hot. Mostly I am thinking that Hollywood has something to do with it. In my opinion (take it for what you will) people in Hollywood movies and on TV (reality TV excluded mostly) tend to be really attractive. I am talking perhaps abnormally so, and usually much for in shape and muscular. I also find that if I watch films from other countries (most of them for me tend to be British) the actors tend to look more averagely attractive, although more made up. Maybe it's because the US is a melting pot, so we have yummy man candy from all walks of life to ogle at in films, or maybe I am biased because I watch a lot of Hollywood films and American TV. I don't know.
What I do know is that there are some very distinctively British features, where you look at someone and go "you're totally British!" And, admittedly, some of these features may not be considered attractive to an unappreciative eye. You know, everyone has what they like and what they don't, as far as, "I want to make out with your face" ways go. But as an experienced connoisseur of British man candy, I have come to appreciate many a Brit who may otherwise not be considered hot. Thus, British hot.
Now, there may not be a way to determine when a British guy goes from British hot to just plain hot. I guess it depends on whether the admirers of his hotness are mainly Brits and Brits appreciative people, or whether any random person would find them hot.
I have a real life example. As any self-respecting fan of anything British, I absolutely LOVE David Tennant. * swoon * My roommate, who was unfamiliar with him at the time (and not British crazy like me) was not at all impressed with him when I would show her photos that I found on the Facebook. I makes me sad just thinking about it. But, after 2+ seasons of Doctor Who, I think she's come around. Granted, it may have something to do with the awesomeness of Doctor Who, but then again, that's sooooooo British anyway, that it totally counts.
Other examples? Benedict Cumberbatch. Come on, even his name is super British, and I love it! He's super adorable, and awesome as Sherlock Holmes. I also find Matt Smith very British hot. I don't know, though, he may qualify as just plain hot, but I think there needs to be a scientific type poll taken. Jude Law is obviously just plain hot. I don't care where you're from, or what you do or don't watch, that man is super fine! And I would also argue that Colin Farrell is also just plain hot, but I could be biased seeing as he's Irish, and that's enough for me. ;^)
Anyway, I hope this adequately explains my possibly complex (and hopefully not offensive) concept of British hot. It's similar to how I find Bill Hader funny hot, where he's not really that attractive, but he's sooooo funny that I find him so very hot. Don't judge me, I'm just weird, awesome me!
I am not sure what the cause is of this phenomenon, but I am sure that there are other kinds of hot, like geek hot or funny hot. Mostly I am thinking that Hollywood has something to do with it. In my opinion (take it for what you will) people in Hollywood movies and on TV (reality TV excluded mostly) tend to be really attractive. I am talking perhaps abnormally so, and usually much for in shape and muscular. I also find that if I watch films from other countries (most of them for me tend to be British) the actors tend to look more averagely attractive, although more made up. Maybe it's because the US is a melting pot, so we have yummy man candy from all walks of life to ogle at in films, or maybe I am biased because I watch a lot of Hollywood films and American TV. I don't know.
What I do know is that there are some very distinctively British features, where you look at someone and go "you're totally British!" And, admittedly, some of these features may not be considered attractive to an unappreciative eye. You know, everyone has what they like and what they don't, as far as, "I want to make out with your face" ways go. But as an experienced connoisseur of British man candy, I have come to appreciate many a Brit who may otherwise not be considered hot. Thus, British hot.
Now, there may not be a way to determine when a British guy goes from British hot to just plain hot. I guess it depends on whether the admirers of his hotness are mainly Brits and Brits appreciative people, or whether any random person would find them hot.
I have a real life example. As any self-respecting fan of anything British, I absolutely LOVE David Tennant. * swoon * My roommate, who was unfamiliar with him at the time (and not British crazy like me) was not at all impressed with him when I would show her photos that I found on the Facebook. I makes me sad just thinking about it. But, after 2+ seasons of Doctor Who, I think she's come around. Granted, it may have something to do with the awesomeness of Doctor Who, but then again, that's sooooooo British anyway, that it totally counts.
Other examples? Benedict Cumberbatch. Come on, even his name is super British, and I love it! He's super adorable, and awesome as Sherlock Holmes. I also find Matt Smith very British hot. I don't know, though, he may qualify as just plain hot, but I think there needs to be a scientific type poll taken. Jude Law is obviously just plain hot. I don't care where you're from, or what you do or don't watch, that man is super fine! And I would also argue that Colin Farrell is also just plain hot, but I could be biased seeing as he's Irish, and that's enough for me. ;^)
Anyway, I hope this adequately explains my possibly complex (and hopefully not offensive) concept of British hot. It's similar to how I find Bill Hader funny hot, where he's not really that attractive, but he's sooooo funny that I find him so very hot. Don't judge me, I'm just weird, awesome me!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
How Not to Name Your Children
Now, I don't have any children, yet. But I would like to think that with all my wisdom and life experience, I'd make a great parent. So, I wouldn't want my children to think I hated them before they were born, so I refuse to make any bad naming mistakes. Because goodness knows there are plenty of other parents, no matter how good they are as parents, that have made some naming mistakes that may haunt their children FOREVER!!!!
I don't actually have any professional experience in psychology, so I don't really know how/if children are traumatized by their names. And, I don't have any professional naming degrees or anything. Is that a thing? Do people specialize in namology? I don't know, but I haven't got whatever it is.
What I do have is life experience, and I have met plenty of people and I have probably read thousands of names! And from all this reading I have come up with some tips about how not to name your kids, unless you actually hate your kids from birth, then go ahead, give them terrible names.
Super Common Names
Nothing says "you're not special enough" than having an uber common name. And I am not just talking about a first name. I mean having a first and last name combination so common that if I were to look you up on LinkedIn, I'd get so many options the internet would explode. Granted, it makes internet stalking your kid much harder, but I am sure the drawbacks for super common names out number the advantages.
Freakishly Unusual Names
The above being said, you should also avoid names that are so out there that they can't actually be classified as names. I recently read about how in some countries they have lists of approved names. At first I was a little offended (free speech and all) but I think it's not a half bad idea, especially if it keeps kids from having names like Rainbow or Wrench, or something ridiculous. Okay, I haven't heard of someone named wrench, but I met a Rainbow once, and I bet she's not alone. And yes, celebrities give their kids really weird names, but that's no reason you should. And they should stop it too.
Names That Shouldn't Go Together
Now there are some names, on their own, that are completely fine. But when combined with last names, they can become terribly ridiculous. Let's say, for example, that your last name is Butts. Sadly, you already have a last name that would garner teasing. But you can make it worse. Let's say you want to name your kid Matthew Rex. Well, now your kid's name is Matthew Rex Butts. Now say it out loud a few times. If you are not giggling, you have no sense of humour, or you don't get it. But unfortunately there are people with this kind of name problem. And I have more examples. If you want to name your daughter something literary, let's go with Scarlett, you should be very careful for a middle name, especially if you want to be creative. Let's also say you want to name her after your aunt Flo. Now you have a daughter named Scarlett Flo, and I have a mind full of terrible menstruation jokes. I am sure there are other usable names to make some great period jokes, but that's the most to the point, I think.
Unusual (Mis)spellings
Some parents like to think they are creative by changing the spelling of an usually common name. Like recently I saw Lindsey spelt Lynzy. Really? REALLY!? Honestly, if you are going to give your kid a normal name, spell it normally. Otherwise, people are going to get confused, and might mispronounce their name. Imagine the years of roll calls for these poor children. Plus, think of all the Starbucks orders. Take my name, for example. While I love my name (and technically it's the proper spelling of it for a girl) it's still not the most common spelling. And I love Starbucks, but I can count on one hand the number of times in a decade that they've spelt my name correctly on my cup. I am thinking of making buttons and handing them out to people who spell my name correctly, as a badge of honor. So, let's be sparing with changing "i/ie" to "y" (or vice versa), changing double letters to single, and other similar things. As for names that have multiple acceptable spellings, I can't help you.
Juniors, the Thirds, etc., etc.
I get it, men have this whole ego thing, and like naming their sons after themselves. Admittedly, I am a fan of the idea of marrying some guy and having "Something Decent VIII", since if it has lasted that long, who am I to end the run? But some men should only be the only one. Like if your name is Francis Eugene (or something else you'd expect to be the name of some nerd in some movie). Or, see any of the other issues, because if your Wrench Microphone, or Stephen A. Smith, then there doesn't need to a second. Seriously!
Oh, and on a similarly related note, please don't give your kid a first name that fits into their last name. Why, no, Mr. Johnson, you don't need a son named John. :P
Initials
For the love of all things holy, please know what initials you are giving your kid before you actually name them permanently! I have friends who luckily dodged a bullet when they changed their kid's name so her initials wouldn't be PMS. And I totally knew a guy whose initials were A.S.S. Nobody wants that. Because odds are, someday your kid will have a school project where their initials and/or middle name is made public, and oh the terrible teasing that will commence.
Oh, and on a similarly related note, please don't give your kid a first name that fits into their last name. Why, no, Mr. Johnson, you don't need a son named John. :P
Initials
For the love of all things holy, please know what initials you are giving your kid before you actually name them permanently! I have friends who luckily dodged a bullet when they changed their kid's name so her initials wouldn't be PMS. And I totally knew a guy whose initials were A.S.S. Nobody wants that. Because odds are, someday your kid will have a school project where their initials and/or middle name is made public, and oh the terrible teasing that will commence.
Famous People/Fictional Character Names
This issue I am not so much against, as just advising some prudence. There are plenty of actors, important people, and cool fictional characters that would provide great kid names. For example, I heard of a kid named Lennon. Super cool! And let's be honest, although I will tell my future sons Elijah and Dean that those are totally family names (they are), I may not admit that there are named so because I love Elijah Wood and Dean Winchester. I will have to openly admit to my future daughter Veronica that, way yes, in fact, she was named after Veronica Mars. But no, her middle name won't be Mars. That would be TOO FAR!
But, like I said, there must be caution. I think it's a safe bet that naming your kid Benjamin Franklin Whatever would be fine, but maybe don't go with naming your kid after someone whose popularity is rather new. To all those babies named Cullen, I have only one thing to say... I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. One day, they will be ridiculed for being named after a stupid sparkly vampire from some terribly written books, and I feel sad for them. Also, maybe avoid naming kids after uniquely named musicians/actors, just in case they do something really bad later on. I wonder if in the early '00's someone named their kid Lohan. That would be hilarious. ;^)
Oh, and let's completely avoid fictional characters with out there names. Somewhere a child was named after the main character of Skyrim. That child was hated from birth, or at least loved less than its parent's video games. I love video games too, but I will never have little baby Ratchet, or Sora. Although, Umbrella Corp. Jones would make a GREAT name. (Jk!). Also, The Doctor does not make a great human name either.
That reminds me, too. If you have a last name of a famous character, don't give your kid the 1st name. We don't need some poor kid named Harry Potter to face all THAT drama in school. And do the world a favor and GOOGLE any potential name. You may think Michael is a cute name, Mrs. Boulton, but I doubt in the future your kid will. Or let's say the Morgans think Dexter is a really cute name. Ummm, not unless you want other people to ask him (or her) about all the serial killing. Really, you can't be too care. Your child's future is at sake.
Last Bit of Advice
I am sure that I could think of more issues (or more terrible real life names), but for now, I think I have left you with enough specifics. But here's some general advice. Before you give your kid a name, tell it to as many people as you can. More specifically, tell it to someone like me. We all know at least one person with a quick wit who can think of all sorts of mean play on words and dirty jokes in the blink of an eye. Give the name to that person and let them think on it. If they cannot come up with too many things, especially right off the bat, then your fine. But if within minutes they've come up with a list of jokes a mile long, maybe it's time to rethink. Because if you don't tell them the name before, you'll have to deal with all the jokes later, AFTER the name belongs to your child.
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