...and if you sang that title, 10 points to you!
Anyway, I have a number of "theories" that I like to kick around. Some or all may not be actual theories, and probably don't actually hold up to real life facts, but mostly I just find them amusing. So, I thought I would share.
1. All loud new millennium rockers have a secret passion for dance music.
Maybe it's just the music I listen to, or maybe I am just reading WAY too much into this, but I swear there is something about loud rockers and dance music that just happens. Now, I use the term dance music not as the specific genre but more generally as like music that you would dance to or might hear at a club, or something w/ lots of synthe and bounce to it. (Ok, I am a little out of my depth w/ describing this, jeez.) I mean, I suppose it makes sense in a way as the Millenial generation has only given the world 2 new music genres: dubstep and metalcore. And there is all the synthecore and similar music that actually combines loud post-hardcore like music w/ synthy dancy stuff. Let's also not fail to mention that there have been many rockin' artists that have moved on to more fancy dancy stuff. I mean, one day I got curious to whatever happen to Sonny Moore after he left From First to Last, and when I found out I was all "WFT?!?!?!" Where did that come from? Plus, while I do very much love "Save Rock and Roll" you can definitely see that Fall Out Boy got some of their dance groove out w/ this album. (I think Patrick Stump got way dancier while going solo, but let's be honest, I was all "no thank you." Idk, I admit I love me some poppy dancing music, but not mixed with and/or from my loud rockin' people. Combining those 2 worlds just kinds of weirds me out. I like chocolate and broccoli, but you don't see me combining those together.
2. Despite English being their language, Brits don't know the proper use of the letter "r"
I watch a lot of British things. A LOT. They have all sorts of adorable language quirks and silly slang terms, some cooler than other. I mean, no matter if people speak a common language, slang and enunciation is going to differ from place to place. I get that. But what bugs me is the complete inability of many Brits to correctly use their "r"s. And you would think, since they invented the language, they'd know how to use it better. Besides, this is an epidemic across all sorts of British locals, not just isolated to one part and dialect. Here is the problem. They cannot seem to enunciate the "r" when it's there. For example, "car" sounds more like "caw." But then they randomly throw them in other words where they don't belong. Like "banana" would be said as "bananer." No!! There is no "r" there! What do they do? Do they not enunciate the "r" in certain words, and then go "oh, crap, I kept off that "r" and now I need to use it in another word. This r-less word would do." No! That will no do!
3. People suck but persons are awesome
I have this theory or thought or feeling, whatever, that people as a whole suck, but persons are awesome. What I mean is that as a whole, people can really be grouped together as a bunch of ass holes. People start wars, they are bigoted, they promote things en masse that really stupid, etc. I swear, anytime you think of grouping people together and then describing them as a whole, it is usually as something negative. It makes me think of Julius Cesar and how the crowd was dumb and easily swayed by a charismatic speaker to take action, w/o really thinking of what was actually a good idea. But I find that individually, I will often find a person that rocks. I think many people taken one at a time have a great story to tell. Granted, there will always be people that you just want to punch in the face, but I think those are outnumbered by people that would stir more sympathetic emotions. One of my favorite times is when I check out at the grocery store. There are some very nice checkers there and I always have an interesting conversation with them. I really doesn't matter about what, I just like the little connection w/ a stranger, and it brightens my day. And recently I got my hair cut at the beauty school by a nice young man. I thoroughly enjoyed just listening to all the things he wanted to do and all the interesting stories he had. It is moments like this when you realize the world is an alright palce and people aren't so bad.
4. Favorites
Do you often read or hear about someone saying they couldn't pick a favorite something b/c they love them all so much? Like, how they love wine or music or noir films or whatever so much that it would be hard to pick just on favorite? Honestly, I think that's kind of BS. Mostly, I just think you haven't given it enough thought or your not that discerning. No matter how much you love something and how much volume of it you love, if you really took the time to think about or if something in the group really attached to you, you could pick a favorite. Like me for example, I easily have a bunch of favorites in music, even thought I love soooooo much of it. I have a favorite band, a favorite song, and I can even name my favorite song of my favorite band. Plus, I could name my fav song of a lot of bands I like. Why? B/c I thought about it and know there are just some songs, for whatever reason, I just love more. A lot of times it has to do w/ sentimental reasons or it's something I relate to. With books, however, I don't have a favorite. I don't even have a favorite author. I think it's because books take me longer to read, it's hard to compare a lot of them. And then it's not always easy to remember all that you read, which makes it harder to compare. And as for authors, I read so many different ones that it's I haven't pinned down one who I like more than the rest. There are few authors I have read (almost) completely. But I have favorite TV shows. And I have a favorite color. But that's because those things catch my heart and I an drawn to pink more than anything else.
5. The name Chad
Now, if your name is Chad, I apologize for any offense. Unless this is accurate to you, then I don't care. So, I have this theory that no real guys were named Chad, but rather it is a name made up by movie people to be given to snobby preppy-boys b/c it sounds, well, it sounds so much like a preppy snob's name. Think about it, how many movies have you seen w/ guys named Chad where this was true? Mind blown, right? Ok, I know that there are actually real guys named Chad. My fav band has a Chad, and he is neither snobby or preppy. But let's face it, there are enough of those Chad's in popular culture to make my point at least a little valid.
6. Romeo and Juliet living would have been a real tragedy
Shakespeare describes there never being a tale of more woe than these two story-crossed love birds. But I would argue that them living at the end would have been the bigger tragedy. Let's look at the facts. First, they are really young. This sweet, "our parents are feuding but we love each other" thing is all hot now, but once that blows over or enough times goes by, and it's jsut going to be annoying. Their relationship wasn't exactly based on their liking each other for their personalities. And let's not forget that not many moments before Romeo laid eyes on fair Juliet was he heart-wrenchingly complaining about some Rosaline ho. Fickle much? If her can forget Rosaline so quickly, soon it would be, "Juliet who?" Oh, but wait, they secretly got married. Good thing they died. Otherwise, that marriage wouldn't have ended well. I can see it now. It's all "yay, we lived and now we can be together b/c our parents now see how stupid they are." But soon, with the drama over, the romance would soon fade. Maybe on its own, maybe b/c Juliet finds out she is pregnant and that makes Romeo feel the noose tighten. Whatever happens, he starts getting fickle again, this time w/ whomever is around. Juliet finds out, or at least senses something is going on, but it's way back in the day, so no divorce for her. This is a perfect time for Paris to swoop in, looking all sympathetic (and like way more by Juliet's parents). Maybe there's a duel for Juliet's honor, maybe Romeo runs off w/ some hussy and Paris picks up the pieces. Either way, Juliet is never really happy again w/o her 1st love (who is plenty happy off w/ anyone and everyone else). I mean, in the real version, at least they both still loved each other in the end. Right?
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