Sunday, September 28, 2014

Those Times When "Conservative" and "Hypocrite" Mean the Same Thing

Let's get political!  I try not to do so that often, given that I'm pretty far left it can be scary.  But I've just about had it lately w/o all the B.S. I'm seeing from Conservatives that it's driving me crazy, and I want to get it off my chest.

Disclaimer: I have no problem with people being Conservative.  I happen to know and like a lot of Conservatives that I know personally.  But there are soooo many in government and on TV being stupid and hypocrites that it's those that I can't stand.  If you have Conservative values and live by them genuinely, great! I applaud that.  But when Conservatives use their "values" to prop up inequality and hatred, that's when my gloves come off.

So, here goes: things that make Conservatives hypocrites, as seen on TV ;^)

1. Always respect the office of President (unless he's a Dem) - So, I recently learned about the whole Obama saluting with a coffee cup and the media circus around it.  And then I saw John Stewart rip those people a new one b/c Bush did a similar thing with a dog.  This is just another example I've seen of something I've been feeling awhile.  I remember when Bush was President and Conservatives screamed that we should be more respectful b/c no matter our thoughts on the guy, he was the President and ALWAYS deserved respect.  Me?  I was a huge fan of the TV show "Little Bush," which was hilarious and an honest caricature of those peeps.  But as soon as Obama becomes President?  People I know personally who chastised me for being disrespectful of Bush turned around and did/said/posted things just as bad or worse.  And of course the media is all over Obama over every stupid little thing.  Don't like Obama?  That's fine, you don't have to.  Don't want to show a particular President respect? That's fine, I only do when it's earned.  But if those first to are true, then have it be true all across the board.  Because I do.

2. The Government shouldn't get involved with my personal liberties ever (unless it's a woman' vagina) - This is a rather short paragraph, b/c I feel like so many other people say it better, and it's self explanatory.  Leave women's parts alone.  You don't want to regulate things that need it, like polluting and equality, fine, but stop regulating things that you have no damn business regulating!

3. All life is precious and you shouldn't get abortions (but the death penalty is ok) - This one pisses me off.  And it's not really the whole Pro-Life thing (because I have my own wacky feelings about abortion) but it's more the way they argue for it.  The propound how all life is precious and make it this big deal about killing a soul and on and on.  But it's ok to kill full grown living people?  I get the people on death row aren't exactly great people, but I feel that if we can't kill people before they are even formed, we can't have the moral right to kill people once they are full blown adults.  Don't we have the right to "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

4. Ok, this one is a little tenuous, and just the product of my own crazy brain, so it doesn't get a heading. I recently read an article about this school district in Colorado that wants to change history taught in school to only teach parts of history that support the idea that the US is the best, and all about patriotism and supporting America, and basically remove the bits that make the US look bad and encourages dissent.  First of all, that's terrible - I'm pretty sure that's what bad countries do to keep citizens in line when their governments are bad for the people.  Second - that's unAmerican.  Our history is what makes us great, and we learn from it.  But also, it made me think of something else.  The Conservative Justices on the Supreme Court like to interpret the Constitution using Originalism, which is basically to interpret the Constitution they have to look at it how it was meant back when written.  But wait?  If we don't teach kids now about ALL of the US history, how can the future Justices even do that?  They won't have the correct context, which means they will corrupt the Constitution.  But isn't that anti-Conservative?  Isn't the Constitution supposed to be honored in its original form?  And think about it - not all of the Amendments were written at the beginning.  How can we interpret the Amendment not discriminating by race if students don't learn about the terrible racism from the past and how that Amendment came about, and the ramifications of that?  Yeah, it was a terrible time, and learning about it made me cry at the pain and injustice of it all.  But it's history.  And because of that history, we've worked (even if there is still more work to be done) to make things better.  Without teaching that to our children, what's the use of the change?  What's to stop it from repeating?  We have to teach our children  all of our history, and then let it be up to them how they decide to be good Americans.  Because forcing your idea of what an American is onto them is UnAmerican!

5. The Government shouldn't be our masters and have so much control on our lives (but it's ok if student loan bearers are indentured for ever and ever) - There seems to be a theme here - Conservatives want government out of their business - unless it regulates something that helps their goals of inequality.  You would think that if Conservatives don't want the government involved w/ people's lives, then maybe they'd support loan forgiveness in some form - help people achieve, work hard, and then become active members of society who don't need government aid.  Because, think about it.  There are sooo many people that can contribute, but because they come from places where they can't afford college, they need loans.  If they got loans, and then paid, say, a flat amount above their loan amount (whether it's 10% or 100% above their loan amount) and then it's done, that makes sense to me.  A Government is not a bank, and should do what's good for its citizens.  Even if we have to pay for years and years on loans, if we knew there was a cap on the total owed, eventually the loans would go away.  But with job options and education options, some people could end up paying 4, 5, 6, etc. etc. the amount of there loans before completely paying, or getting forgiveness. The Government is obviously getting their money back plus some - why treat the interest like a bank?  B/c with less loans, we can start buying houses and having a family and sending in the economy.  That's good, right Conservatives?  Not to them.  B/c giving student loans in the 1st place encourages poor people to better themselves, and as much as Conservatives complain about the poor, they don't want less poor people - they just want them to be invisible and not get aid of any kind.  So, if they have to give student loans, why not keep post-grads poor, and maybe the will discourage more people from getting them.

6. Complaints when they aren't allowed to put Christian items in government places, but try to prevent other religions from putting their religious items anywhere else, all in the name of protecting their freedom of religion - never have a group of people so misunderstood the Constitutional rights of Freedom of Religion.  It does mean that the government will keep church and state separate so they don't appear to promote one religion as a government religion, thus making people of other religions feel alienated.  It doesn't mean Christian religion can be wherever it wants in the government.  And it doesn't mean Christians can stop other religious stuff from being where it's allowed.  Like I get that many of the founding fathers were Christian, but they had religious persecution too.  (Not all forms of Christian were the same back then).  So they formed a government that didn't have a religion.  And they formed a country that welcome different people from all over.  So it only makes sense that the values of non-religion in government protects ALL religions, not just Christians.  We all have to play by the same rules.

7. Poor people should stop being poor (but our policies basically want to keep them that way) - the economic inequality in the US probably make me more upset than anything else.  I watched this video from the Daily Show yesterday where a Conservative was confronted about the poor health care some Americans receive already (before the ACA).  And he said that if poor people want better care they should stop being poor.  Really?  I didn't think of that.  But you know what?  I can point to so many things that Conservatives in government support that keep the poor poor - trying to eradicate government aid, increased costs of higher education, terrible primary education in poor areas, food deserts in minority neighborhoods, all sorts of ways corporations and the extremely rich keep money while the rest of us get less and less.  And the list goes on and on.  People complain about government aid to people in need, but don't know about or ignore way more money given to "aid" people that already have more money than they would ever need - payouts to large banks, helping Wall Street, farm subsidies to rich farmers, etc. etc.  You want the poor to stop being poor?  Then stop supporting a system where there aren't options to stop being poor (except for those few exceptional people that beat the odds, and are then touted as why things are actually fine).  If you don't want to support the poor, fine.  If you want the rich to stay rich and believe we are better to have defined economic classes, fine.  But just admit that your policies are aimed to do that.  Don't perpetuate the trickle down economics lie when you know that's not what you want and that's not what happens.

There are probably soooo many more things for this list, but that's all I can think of at this moment.  And there are more things that get me riled up, but I'll save those for some other time.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Oh the Feels! I Think I Used All the Tissues

Do you ever have those moments, where one minute you're just thinking about something, anything, entirely random, and then somehow your train of thought takes you someplace, and suddenly you're sobbing hysterically, trying to keep down the noise so your roommate in the next room doesn't hear?  I had one of those moments today.  I felt compelled to write about it.

It started in the most random of places.  All I was doing was thinking about job interviews.  I do that sometimes - where I imagine questions that I may get asked, and how I would response.  I was thinking about my work ethic, about what if someone asked "where do you get your great work ethic?"

That thought make me jump straight to my dad.  My mom worked hard too, she's a huge influence too. I guess I just can't say there are many other good quality traits my dad taught me (as oppsed to the many I got from my mom), so I attribute this one to him.

I also attribute to him my dislike of yard sales and flea markets, because for all of my childhood I remember weekends helping dad set up yard sales and going to the flea market or the large auction sites.  I remember hating it, because who as a kid, and then a teenager, wants to spend their weekend working, helping dad, lifting heavy boxes and getting sweaty.  I sure didn't.  That's not to say there weren't fun times - cool random stuff I got to buy, usually cheap.  And of course I got to eat whatever I wanted b/c mom wasn't around.

That's when I realized all this time as a kid is probably why, as an adult, I don't really get bothered as much by working long days or weekends (at least not nearly as bothered as so many others I know and don't know get bothered).  I guess I am just used to it.  And at least now I get paid real adult wages, and I can sit comfortably inside instead of getting sweaty outside.

But those thoughts are not what got the tears pouring.

[Just a warning/disclaimer - this may get you a little misty eyed.  If it doesn't, either I'm a terrible writer, or you have no soul!  I'm going to go with my gut that it's the latter, but you be the judge.]

I started to thinking about where my dad got his work ethic from, because for all his faults, he taught his kids the value of hard work.  And that, he learned from his mom.  And he's not the only one.  I've heard plenty of times one of my relatives (maybe my dad, one of his 3 brothers, my mom, one of the many, MANY extended relations we had) expand upon just how hard my grandmother always worked.

Her life was far from easy - born in the south, starting a family young.  Her and my grandfather moved to California with their first two sons (or was it after the 3?).  I remember stories from her about working at the cannery - which is something hard to imagine now, as I think of cans being filled and closed by machines.  And having to work other jobs too, more than one at a time, all while raising 4 boys.  There are times when I think it was probably harder raising kids with a bad spouse, than on your own, because there is so much more pain when someone you love hurts you, and makes you life harder instead of helping to carry your burdens.  Obviously I wasn't there, so I can't know how the times were all the time, but just remembering the terrible stories I've heard breaks my heart, to know anyone could be so mean to someone who was go loving and gave so much for her family.

Just now, going back over these thoughts, and fleshing them is making the tears worse.  I have to wipe the tears from my eyes just to see that I've spelt some of these words correctly.  Usually, I don't like to write about my feelings, but I couldn't help it.  It felt wrong to keep this in, so cry it out and let it pass, without something substantial to know it happened.  So, I'll continue.

Next, I began thinking about what it was like growing up, going to grandma's house.  It was a small house, and not in great condition.  But there was something about going to grandma's house that was like stepping into another world.  I've never been to the South - I've barely made it past Colorado (within the US anyway), so all I knew about the place was from pictures and stories from my grandparents.  But I always imagined it was like grandma's house - surrounded by orchards, people driving big trucks, animals out and about, and the houses much farther apart than where I lived in the suburbs.  It's not like they lived far away (20-30 minutes maybe?), and it was definitely still California.  But i guess being young, it always left an impression on me.

I remember grandma's garden.  It wasn't like today, with all this trendy, organic crazed hype about having little gardens in your back yard.  This was the real deal - little rows of vegetables growing as they wished, fresh made food, things pickled in jars looking authetic and rustic, not crafty and trendy.

At this time, I was already in tears - nostalgic for the old days, parts from my youth that are gone and lost forever.  I began thinking about when grandma died.  It was October, and it happened pretty suddenly.  I am most thankful that I got to see her before she went, but remebering that last moment is still so sad.  We were just talking, about anything.  It was just nice to chat.  And then she something we should do at Thanksgiving.  As I told her that was something I wanted to do, inside it was all I could do to keep from falling apart.  There would be no Thanksgiving, there wouldn't even be a next week - not here anyway, not with us.  But I couldn't let this last moment to affected by that knowledge, so I held it in.

I feel like I held a lot of it in.  The funeral was on the Tuesday following that last moment, and that following Saturday, and the Saturday after that, I had exams - important ones for my last year for grad school.  I don't think at that time I had the room for mourning.  It's like, if I really let it in, really felt it, then everything would fall apart and I wouldn't make it through.  So, I just kept holding it in -

Which is why I think I still have these occasional moments - moments when out of nowhere, that extreme feeling of loss becomes overwhelming.  With any loss, it fades with time, because you except it, you really feel it before, so later it just becomes this memory that you loved someone, and they loved you, and that love still exists.

I think about love and loss, and how people say when you loss someone, it's like a hole in your heart.  Maybe sometimes that's true.  Maybe if the loss is painful in a hurtful way, like the person was bad or did something terrible to maim your heart.  But when you loose someone you love because life just takes them away, I don't think there's a hole.  It's more of an impression.

Or maybe it's like replacing a framed photo where a person used to be - you can still see them, you can still feel that love, but it's just a one way conversation now.  Not that when people leave they stop loving us (I choose to believe in an afterlife, however that happens) but instead we now feel that love coming from the place inside where we know they loved us, rather than getting the love from the source.  And as much as that can hurt, and as much as that makes us cry, there's a beauty in that.  I believe in feeling the beauty in the pain - knowing that something so wonderful exists that its loss can feel this strong.  I never dislike feeling, even the bad things, because to feel at all is wonderful, and it means that I am living, and letting others into my life.  And it's time that I learn to share that more.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Am I Too Old to Be a Runaway?

And no, I don't actually want to run away, like from home or anything.  Although, that's rather enticing, for sure.  No, what I referring to is a moniker taken on by fans of the band Crown the Empire, from their recent album, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways.  I like to rep bands that I love, even if no one sees it, because at the very least I get to blog about things I love, and I love this band!

I first heard about Crown the Empire from Alternative Press, who made the band one of AP's 2013 100  Bands You Need to Know This Year issue.  I always like to check out new bands (whether it's an actual new band or just one I haven't listened to yet).  And I just love hearing what's new and how my favorite genres of music are evolving.

What I love most about this band is the epicness of their music.  Their first full length album, "The Fallout" is all about love and apocalypse. I like that there's a big story/theme in the album and it just rocks.  One of the things I tend to here with newer bands is an album full of songs that mostly sound the same, with one or two unique ones mixed in, and it's not until later that the band expands their sound, or just keeps on doing the same stuff until their inevitable short end.

But not Crown the Empire! They have so much variety for a new band, and a really great sense of self. I particularly love the mixing the strings into the loud rock.  It gives their music more depth and really makes it more epic.  I do like to think that if the apocalypse were to come, or at least in a movie version I would script, the apocalypse would be to the soundtrack of loud rock and classical strings. :^)  That's how I always imagined it.

Plus, I love this band's sense of showmanship.  They actually put thought on how they want to appear on stage.  They have a wardrobe, which I think really adds to the performance.  And yes, I have seen them live.  Twice.  And I can't wait for the next time. Granted, the first time I saw them live, Andy Leo didn't do that great w/ the singing.  But I think that has to do w/ being new and having to adjust to the rigor of singing so much so often.  Luckily, David Escamilla stepped it up and took on some singing as well as his excellent growling/screaming/whatever term fits best.  Personally, I think David is excellent as a vocalist, one of the better "unclean" vocalists I've heard in awhile.  And of course the second time I saw them, this time at this year's Warped Tour, they definitely brought their A game and rocked it.

Oh, and the band has a pretty cool logo.  As a fan of Trademarks, I appreciate these things.  And the guys are pretty easy on the eyes.  Not that I'm checking out guys significantly younger than me. ;^) Ok I am. Muahahaha.  But seriously, this is one of the better looking bands.  One of the guitarist is like guy model hot.

So, their new album came out recently, as mentioned before, and I have been rocking out to it quite often since then.  I pre-ordered it, helping make it #1 on the iTunes rock album list.  It's nice to see people support actual good rock music, even if the mainstream's idea of good rock music is totally lame. (Really, in what Universe does Lorde deserve "Best Rock Video" MTV?  Idiots!)

They really expanded upon what they do best, epic rock with some strings and a lot of emotions.  But I definitely feel this is a big step up from their first full album.  (Their EP is good too, as a good start to becoming super awesome).  They definitely expanded on what they can do.  Like, how David did more  legit singing on this album.  He's pretty good, but surprising quiet when actually singing.  It makes a nice blend w/ how powerful he is when doing the unclean vocals.  I always find it interesting when bands have two vocalists, since I always wonder how that dynamic works when deciding on how to do vocals for songs.  But I think Andy and David are a good mix with each other.  I see David has having this just raw, untamed energy to him performing, while Andy seems more, idk if composed is right, or more calculated.  Like, he has this sweeter looking face, but something manically wicked underneath.  It's a fun pairing.

I am particulary a fan of their softer moments on this album, something newer.  And I am glad to see that Andy has stepped up his singing game, because there's that one slow song on their EP that is sooooo badly sung, it hurts me ears.  It's a pretty song, but soooo hard to listen to.  But Andy really grew as a singer and performer since their last album. That shows some great maturity and great hope for the band to go on forever and ever (or at least long enough to become old and start doing casino tours.  Sorry, that's a favorite new joke of mine, that no matter how famous you become as a musician, in the end, if they keep performing, they always end up playing casinos).

But I digress.  Where was I? Oh, yeah, softer moments.  I love the song Millenia.  I don't hear too many rock ballads these days, at least not many that are reminicent of the good old days of epic rock ballads.  And although it's only 2 minutes long, I think Satellites may be my favorite, mostly b/c I've already memorized it and I bust it out in my car on the way to and from work.  It's great stress relief!  I really like Machines - It's got some great lyrics and a great message.  Mnstr is pretty bad ass - definitely the heavist they're done.  They said that, not me, when I saw them at Warped Tour.  Usually I don't like when a band plays their new stuff, b/c I can't sing along, but it's a great song, so it was cool to hear before the album came out.  Plus, it helped to alleviate the usual fears I get when a new album comes out from a band I like, b/c I am always a little worried it's going to disappoint.

Probably another close contender for my favorite song on the album is  Rise of the Runaways.  It definitely gets me pumped on the way to work.  Also, the beginning of the song reminds me of Styx, from Kilroy Was Here, and who doesn't love that?  And then the song picks up speed and rocks my socks off.  Oh, and I feel like I can't quit this blog post w/o mentioning Johnny's Rebellion.  I got The Fallout before the EP, limitless, so I didn't get Johnny's Revenge at first.  But I love how they carried the story through all three releases.  Johnny's Revenge is still my favorite, but I love how the story plays out, and how the 3rd part at the end brings it back to lyrics from Johnny Ringo.  It's some great framing.

So, that's my thoughts on Crown the Empire and their new album, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways.  Really, the only thing I don't like about it is that the album just  came out, so it's going to be too long to wait for the next one.